Style: Power Flow
Teacher: Britton Darby
Studio: Moksha Yoga Montreal

I'm supposed to be scheduling a flight, finishing three book reports and trying to somehow come up with the money to make Bali happen. What am I doing in Montreal? The feeling of being overwhelmed is probably eerily similar to the experience of drowning. You're surrounded, powerless, scared. You're struggling and you're out of your element. How am I possibly going to pull this off?

Something is blocking me but I can't figure out what it is. Until I do I don't see how I can go any further. I'm more confused now than I was before the whole thing started. This inner quest has led me in circles and I'm more lost now than ever. Nothing makes sense. Nothing is clear. There are no road signs, no maps and no signals letting me know which way to run. I'm fending for myself and I'm losing ground. I don't know how much more I can take.

Luckily for Meredith, she gets to be with me while the waves crash against the rocks. I tell her I don't know what I'm doing, that I don't know where I'm going. I tell her I'm confused and I have no solutions. I'm indecisive and uncertain. I tell her I might be scared to experience the changes I've been asking for, like maybe I won't be able to follow through with everything I've started. The closer I get to my departure date, the more my mind reels back in panic.

Falling apart in her arms, she takes the full impact of my self-destruction and somehow manages to remain standing. I feel her energy fusing with my cells. She tells me everything will be okay, that she loves me and that everything will work out. She tells me I'm capable and ready, that I can do anything I want. She tells me that I'll make it through. Eventually I'm absorbed in the energy behind her words and I let go of the inner-struggle. My mind evaporates in the silence that follows and with it goes the accumulated stress that's been terrorizing me. The love and support from someone who cares is hard to put into words. When someone believes in you it persuades you to believe in yourself. Suddenly everything doesn't seem so bad. The stakes aren't as high, the consequences less dire. It can bring you back into the present moment as firmly as meditation or yoga. It can refresh the spirit and renew your strength. Real love gives you back to yourself. It can provide the clarity to see you as you truly are.

Style: Moksha
Teacher: Anna Smutny
Studio: Moksha Yoga Montreal

Out of town yoga is a pricey affair. Arriving safely in Montreal late last night, Meredith tells me about the Moksha community class at 8:45 in the morning, costing only $5.00. After a teasingly brief four-hour sleep, the digital explosion from the alarm clock rattles our world and we're up, gathering the usual hot-room paraphernalia. As the class begins and I enter the first downward dog of the day, I feel my awareness crystallizing and the fatigue evaporates into a mist. Anna, our teacher, is well-spoken, soothingly guiding the full studio through the flowing, dynamic choreography. The theme of the class is the transition from Winter to Spring, and I can feel the remainder of my internal snow and frost melting, making way for the budding of new experience. The class flows on and before I know it I'm in a hot shower, then dressed and back outside, having a much-needed breakfast in a nearby cafe. After our meal, ending with a pile of fresh fruit, I'm back in Meredith's apartment crash-landing into bed, exhausted. I begin to shut down my internal operating systems and let go of my neurology, allowing my brain to take over on auto-pilot. Drifting into myself once again, my heavy eyelids fused shut, I jump out of linear reality and plunge into the depths of a vast, abstract and endless continuum.

Style: Moksha
Teacher: Britton Darby
Studio: Moksha Yoga Montreal

Moksha: [mohk-shuh] –noun Buddhism, Hinduism, Jainism. Freedom from the differentiated, temporal, and mortal world of ordinary experience. Pretty dramatic name for a style of yoga. When I first heard it I assumed Moksha yoga was probably the ultimate most powerful yoga dating back to ancient India, practiced by enlightened Gurus on lone mountains peaks long before modern civilization.

As it happens, Moksha yoga has much more recent origins. Developed in Toronto by Ted Grand and Jessica Robertson, the creators were trained by a wide-range of yogis. This is probably why Moksha has a yoga-fusion vibe to it, influenced by a variety of styles. For me, Moksha is basically Bikram Choudhury and Baron Baptiste in a blender. It has a similar Bikram structure with touches of Power Vinyasa flow. When I found myself in Montreal during last year's ninety days, Moksha Yoga Montreal was the closest option. It was my first non-Bikram hot room experience. This year I'm back and I forgot how stylish the studio is. With its front doors opening onto Saint-Laurent, Moksha is definitely the most popular, trendiest center in the area. Every teacher I've practiced with has been excellent, and this afternoon is no exception. Back in the 40 degree heat, I feel centered and calm, moving through the vigorous sequence with comfort and focus.

Sipping Earl Grey at a cafe in the Plateau area of Montreal, I am feeling thoroughly detoxified. The post hot-room feeling is decadently similar to a post-outdoor spa / hot tub feeling. It's nice to be on vacation.