Bali in 01

Style: Power
Teacher: Lucy Castell
Studio: Rama Lotus

Today was my last yoga class. All morning I've been halfway between laughing and bursting into tears. Making an attempt to dodge my fluxuating emotions I'm in the Hot room at Rama Lotus, hoping for a third-degree burn. I'm standing at the end of a long adventure but also at the edge of a new one. I have no thoughts. I can only feel. Right now I feel the whole spectrum. I feel a tragic bliss, an ecstatic misery. I feel heavy, suffocated by the burden of gravity but I feel light, like I might float gracefully off the ground any second. Endings are always inseparably bound to new beginnings. They are tightly woven, one melting into the other. Death is followed by rebirth. When one chapter ends, a new one begins. Fade to black. Today I'm at the apex of the pyramid, the split second of suspension between the rise and the fall, the climb and the descent. The journey has come to an end and the journey has only just begun. It's the excitement of a new direction in an intimate embrace with the heartbreak of departure. The mixture of emotion creates a wild chemical reaction. The layers of feeling are subtle and complex, poetic, romantic and nearly impossible to describe. I think this is how it feels to be fully alive. I'll never know what the future holds. I don't even know if I'll put pen to page again in my life, if I'll blog or share my thoughts with the world. Nothing is for certain. I can't be sure that I'll ever return or if I'll even survive the trip. There are no guarantees. Soon I'll be leaving my world behind. Will it still be waiting for me when I get back? Will I be able to recognize it?


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