Style: Vinyasa Inversions
Teacher: Todd Lavictoire
Studio: Upward Dog


Chances are that I wont have a flawless handstand before I leave the country. I'm cool with that. My hang-time is increasing exponentially and every inch of new territory feels like an incredible success. The more fun I have with my progress, the faster my progress seems to occur. I'm basking in the sensation of palming the planet and holding it up in the air, feeling like I could make a jump shot for a game-winning 3-pointer. I'm casually shooting hoops in the solar system. And 1.

Tonight is the last inversion class I'll be at before I leave and I already miss it. There's something special about this Thursday night event. There's a sense of community, a gathering of friends that I've rarely come across in the yoga scene. There's something nice about familiar faces. I'm getting closer to ground zero and I'm feeling intensifying mixed emotions. As usual, getting lost in a series of inversions is the best form of distraction I have. On second thought, that's not altogether true. While it does give my mind and body something to focus on, it's not like I'm ignoring what I'm going through. More accurately, when I occupy myself with a challenge it gives rise to the perfect platform for reflection. While inverting my reality I'm able to calmly and impersonally observe my experience. I can really listen to the way I feel without getting carried away by it. I'm able to consider my life from a safe distance, to analyze myself without overly dissecting. In other words, the sharpened blade of my scalpel is held with a steady hand. I'm carefully making incisions and studying anatomy without a life threatening loss of blood. Just hold still, this wont hurt a bit.

Style: Vinyasa Inversions
Teacher: Todd Lavictoire
Studio: Upward Dog

I'm back in the workshop. It's Thursday night and that can only mean one thing - Inversions. Tonight I feel amazing. The sun was out all day and I spent most of my time outside. The internal storm has been subsiding lately. I feel the dark clouds parting, the first few hints of summer warming my skin. I can feel an energy of rebirth in the air. The world is brand new, pristine. The frozen cleanse of winter has passed. I'm coming back to life.

In class I'm more comfortable. My adopted mission of a successful handstand is close to fruition. I'm almost there and I'm having fun. There is nowhere I would rather be than right here, right now. I'm happy, I'm warm. I'm narrowing down the details, honing in on my target. I want to stand upside down by the time I leave the continent.

Today we made further explorations into the world of the bandhas, focusing on the root, abdominal and throat locks. We also began practice of Agni Sara. These internal locks, binds and borderline belly dancing routines bring about the strangest internal sensations. It's new to me but I'm getting the hang of it. Described as a cleansing activity, Agni Sara is traditionally practiced daily. Old toxins are burned and purified, allowing for greater circulation and blood flow. Combining elements of pranayama with asana training is appealing to me and I feel myself unconsciously incorporating it. I find myself working in different breath patterns before or after my practice. Sometimes off the mat in daily life situations I've caught myself monitoring and controlling my breath. I am growingly aware of its effects on my mind and body, my mood and my disposition. It's simply something I can't ignore anymore. I intuitively feel that breathing holds some sort of key to the mystery, some form of innate secret, and it's right under my nose...

Style: Vinyasa Inversions
Teacher: Todd Lavictoire
Studio: Upward Dog

I need a solid handstand to add to my repertoire. I’m officially obsessed. Every day I come closer and I can’t rest until I make it mine.

I attack the handstands like a drill Sergeant. I expect full cooperation and demand success. I'm not hearing any excuses tonight and I'm only accepting total victory. Barking orders at my biology I flip upside down over and over again. I tackle each new challenge with no hesitation, with the mindless brainwash of a well-trained G.I. Life upside down never felt better. My balance is improving, I have more control. I'm an adrenaline junkie and I'm feeding off the discombobulation flipping the world upside down provides. It lets me feel power. It's like I lift the entire planet over my head and hold it there. Eternity stretches out in every direction and my mind crystallizes. My attention comes to a razor sharp focus that could cut glass.

Along with the militant inversion exercises, Todd incorporated more of the bandhas. I've had some practice with Mula banda, or root lock, but today we took it even deeper and studied the Uddiyana bandha. Also known as the abdominal lock, it's practiced by exhaling completely with a curved spine, then straightening the spine and drawing the abdomen in and up without taking in any breath. We experimented with the locks in different positions, noting their effects on the practice and on the body. Learning these two bandhas eventually makes way for Agni Sara, an intense cleansing and detoxifying practice which literally translates as "purging by cascading the fire."

It might just be an old adage, but I've heard it said that it's darkest before dawn, that the darkest point of the night is right before the sun comes out. Experiencing a week-long dark night of the soul with no end in sight, I can only hope that sunrise is right around the corner. It's an internal electro-magnetic storm and it's wreaking havoc on my psyche. All I can do in the meantime is flip the script as many times as I can, trying to evade my incessant mental chatter in an inverted reality. Until I figure things out, if I ever do, I'll spend my days head over heels.

Style: Inversions
Teacher: Shawna Almeida
Studio: None

Handstands: Round II. Noticing my struggle at Thursday night's inversions class, Shawna offered to teach me a few tricks of the trade to keep in mind when flipping the world upside down. Late Sunday evening, my friend Sara and I headed over to Shawna's apartment complex. Sara works at Rama Lotus and we became friends at the teacher training program over the past few weekends. Congregating in the all-purpose room near the lobby, we unroll our mats and make our way through a warm-up sequence to get started. Once we had built some heat, our handstand deconstruction began. We took it step by step, flipping upside down while using the wall for support. Over the course of our careful analysis I was able to make subtle changes to gain equilibrium. Tilting my pelvis a few degrees, slightly pulling in my ribs, adjusting the arch of my lower back: every modification brought new levels of stability. We worked on a few more handstands, then tripod headstand and peacock feather, narrowing down posture complications until we ran out of energy altogether. Eventually we made our way into a breakdown, bringing the energy back to Earth. A few small steps, one giant leap in progress. Soon I'm back out in the night, heading home for a few short hours of sleep before an early morning. This yogic journey has crossed my path with so many interesting and amazing people. I can't help but wonder where it's all leading.

Style: Vinyasa Inversions
Teacher: Todd Lavictoire
Studio: Upward Dog

There's something thrilling about facing death. I didn't exactly face death tonight, but I went up against the nearest alternative - Todd's inversions class. At this point in time I feel comfortable in a headstand and a few of its variations, but I have yet to make much progress with its sibling, my arch-nemesis, the handstand. It freaks me out. My heart seems to skip a few too many beats when the planet flips on its axis, coming dangerously close to stopping altogether. There is a fine line bordering brave and insane. Somewhere between having your feet planted on solid ground and being head over heels you are forced to make that distinction. So which are you?

Personally, tonight I was leaning a little more toward cowardly. I wasn't taking any risks. I wasn't pushing the envelope. I played it safe. When my arms were tired I listened to their plight and took pity on them. I listened to their excuses and let them off the hook. I didn't ask them to take it to their limit or to put their heart, soul and fiery passion into the practice. I basically shrugged it off metaphysically. I've lost my wager with balance before and tonight I let reluctance get the better of me. It's a learning process and by nature it changes day by day. It's not that I completely gave up tonight, it's just that I feel exponentially better when I apply myself at my highest potential.

But seriously. Handstands are scary.

Style: Vinyasa Inversions
Teacher: Todd Lavictoire
Studio: Upward Dog

Now that was an epic yoga class. Even though Todd Lavoctoire is one of my instructors in the yoga teacher training I take every second weekend, I've never actually been to one of his classes. I've loved his style so far, so tonight I decided to head downtown to Upward Dog and see what it's all about.

Tonight the focus was on inversions. Todd is soft spoken but tough as nails and as things got going, he provided every level of variation, accommodating students who were just beginning to those who already have an established ability. Things progressed and the level of intensity began to rise. People were falling over and crashing to the ground left right and center. The studio turned into a war zone and I was on the battlefield, dodging bullets. As I attempted each handstand, headstand and a host of other intense inversions, I would feel a choking primal fear rising up my throat. Swallowing it back down, I centered my focus and did my best to calm my mind. Like Todd said, falling is part of the learning process. Very punk-rock. In the end, the class was unbelievably exhilarating. To turn, face my fears and stare them directly in their eyes is a powerful feeling for me. I looked at them until they backed down and allowed me my space. Over and over again I flipped the room upside down, deepening my practice bit by bit, making slow but solid steps forward. I felt like I was building a fortress brick by brick. If I focus on the big picture, it's easy to be intimidated and overwhelmed. Instead, I focused on what was directly in front of me, carefully placing one brick at a time and by the end of the class I could sense my foundation becoming sturdier then ever.