Style: Power Vinyasa
Teacher: Baron Baptiste
Studio: Renaissance Hotel Austin

Day two. Arriving back into physical reality, emerging from a series of abstract dreams, I'm ready for another round of Baptiste yoga. Yesterday ended with another asana practice, this time moving further into precise detail. We were instructed to team up with a partner. Of the hundreds of yogis from all over the continent, I matched up with Tomomi Kojima, a Japanese-Canadian who teaches yoga in Halifax. Together we practiced the subtleties of the poses, assisting in different modifications and adjustments. We worked on different ways to enter into handstands which was both terrifying and unbelievably exciting.

Today was another blend of intensive practice and thorough self-discovery. The feelings of resistance shifted even more today and I felt myself totally let go, completely dropping my guard and all my barriers of control and protection. I gave myself over to the process, digging as thoroughly as I could. I felt myself enter into total surrender. Breaking down my patterns and repetitions, habits and compulsions, I knew that I was opening up more then ever. A decision was solidified deep inside. I'm an open book. The world is free to dissect me if it feels like it. I came to a new realization, a new understanding. All I need to do in life is to be real, to be honest, and in doing that it gives people around me permission to be real. I experienced an explosion from my heart, a buzzing up and down my spine as I let go of all my defences. Gandhi said that his life was his message and that struck a heavy cord with me. I have to embody the change I want to see, to tap into my internal capability and unleash my full potential.

As the day went on we found new partners, expanding on the detail of the day before. Today I met Mary-Lyn Jenkins, a yoga teacher from Jacksonville Florida. Together we exchanged advice and insight, exploring postures as well as our writing, sharing our experiences, our dreams and the intentions we were developing for our life experiences. As the day progressed I heard from many other people from all over, each sharing their stories with the audience, letting us see into their own lives, their own unique perspectives. The day ended with another Power Vinyasa flow, forcing me to work when I thought I couldn't take any more. This weekend has really shown me my own ability, that I can continue and persevere even when I'm on the verge of giving up.

The weekend was about so much. It was about tapping into my true potential and moving with it to manifest the life I want to experience. It was about unlocking the source within, taking my reality to new levels and higher echelons. Confidence and capability dwell inside me in great abundance and the time is now to let it shine. It is truly real, truly inherent, ready to burst out and take over. I understand now that anything I desire is within reach, anything at all.

If not now, then when?

Style: Power Vinyasa
Teacher: Baron Baptiste
Studio: Renaissance Hotel Austin

I made it. Waking up in my hotel room, my mind takes a few minutes to recalibrate and figure out where exactly I am. The warm Sun is shining in through the windows, welcoming me to the south. Soon I'm showered and awake, heading for the elevators to take me down to the massive conference room where the workshop is being held. Through the glass windows I can see hundreds of yogis bustling about, registering and chatting, looking like a colorful ocean of lululemon.

Last night was my first introduction to Baron. After meeting up with Ichih and having lunch outside in the warm weather, we made our way back to the hotel and took our seats. The room soon filled up with over 300 yogis. After taking the stage and introducing himself to the enthusiastic crowd, Baron described the weekend's schedule. Eventually he asked if anyone wanted to introduce themselves and share a bit of their personal story with the group, and I felt myself tense up with anticipation. No thanks. After a few people took to the microphone and spoke, we made our way into some personal revolution self-study type exercises, writing down what we wanted to get out of the weekend. The more he spoke the more I started seeing him in a new light. He's just a regular human being like anyone else and I felt myself more able to relate.

Today we're back in the vast room, all chairs replaced with a sea of yoga mats. I'm not sure what I had expected, but the practice ended up being a three-hour, intensely physical Power Vinyasa extravaganza. About a quarter way into it I felt my arms shaking, struggling to maintain the positions, when suddenly a familiar voice that I hadn't heard in a long time began to speak. The voice came from inside my mind and began to tell me that I was in way over my head. That I had bit off more then I could chew. That I wasn't going to be able to keep up. This discouraging voice used to turn up now and then when postures were getting pretty physically intense, but as the days have piled up I've been very good at silencing it, eventually turning it off altogether. Now it was back in full force, letting me know that my strength wouldn't be enough to get me through. Drenched with sweat and feeling my energy about to run out, I started to wonder if it was right. Was I really in the deep end, struggling to stay afloat? Closing my eyes and cursing it to leave me alone, I continued through the brutal sequence. Eventually I was hit with a second wind, then a third, then a fourth, and by the time it ended I was on my back in final savasana, still alive. My body, completely buzzing with electricity, had not let me down.

Coming back after lunch and resting down onto my mat, Baron led the huge group through more self-study. From my perspective, I enjoyed the way he explained the ancient teachings in a modern context, using simple and easy to understand language. He discussed the doors of perception, the power of interpretation, the way we look at the world through our own constructed lenses and filters. We talked about tapping into our Source energy, the value of the student-teacher relationship and co-creation. We discussed his past, studying with Iyengar in the late 1970's, his relationship with his yogi parents and much more. He quoted many of history's great thinkers like Socrates, Aristotle, the Buddha, Jesus, Martin Luther King, Gandhi and others, drawing insight from different cultures and different time-frames all over the world.

Eventually we came to the point where we were invited to come up to the mic to share what the practice of yoga has personally given us and I felt myself tense up with resistance yet again. This time however, something changed. I felt the floodgates break and I let it rush in. Before my mind could accept the horror of what I was about to do, I walked up to the microphone. Looking out at the crowd, hundreds of faces looking back at me, I felt my mind go blank. Taking a deep breath and swallowing my fear, I spoke, hearing my voice echoing out of the massive speakers.

The practice of yoga has given me a lot, almost more then I can describe. I've developed an inner awareness, a growing knowledge of self. I've cultivated an inner and outer strength, a stability and confidence that I never knew was possible. I feel an internal determination growing and expanding, filling me with the understanding that I can achieve anything that I believe in. Everyday I feel more compassion. Compassion for myself, for my body, for my life, as well as a compassion for the world around me. I feel myself more accepting of the people in my life, less willing to judge and reprimand them. I'm more grounded in the Now, more present in every waking moment. I feel the beginnings of an inner peace, a calm that is hard to put words to, and for that I will be forever grateful.

Style: Power Vinyasa
Teacher: Ichih Wang
Studio: Rama Lotus

What happened to us? Have we always been this way? How long has the struggle gone on? Man vs. Mind... where along the line did we lose complete control? And why? Is this how we've been programmed? This was more or less the theme song of my brain during tonight's Power Vinyasa class. It all started innocently enough...

Arriving at Rama Lotus, mentally and physically exhausted, I inwardly cursed myself for deciding to focus on more strength-oriented, physically demanding classes for the next few days. Although in high spirits, I had a looming sense of trouble as I unrolled my mat in the Crystal room, ready to enjoy this smaller, more intimate class. Things started uneventfully - sun salutations, breathing, side planks and other positions. Physically, my body was performing at its optimum level, deepening into postures comfortably. Inwardly, however, a very different story was being told. All I did was ask my mind to please lower its voice for the next 90 minutes, and to please keep any and all opinions to itself. Well maybe Mind woke up on the wrong side of the bed, but it was not amused. As the class proceeded, the chatter continued to build. Images flashed across the inside of my eyelids, accompanied by a chorus of arguing maniacs. Broken sentences attached to emotional reactions became more and more chaotic. My mind was a mess. Synapses flashed at the speed of light as thought-form collided with thought-form, creating a fifty thousand car pile-up. Horns blaring, insults flying, attention fluctuating... and class was only just beginning. As we moved into balancing postures, things reached their peak. Having just completely lost my ability to focus, any and all balance had flown out the window. Standing on one shaking leg, the room seemed to spin as I slipped and stumbled out of each pose again and again. And all the while the chaos in my mind escalated. The more I uncontrollably interacted with my distraught thoughts the more my actual physical strength seemed to evacuate my body, adding to my inner frustration. Trembling, weak, off-balance... with my mind showing me total disregard.

I did what everyone says you should do in order to focus. I concentrated on my breathing. I fought with myself, forcing my breath to become deeper and slower. I would be close to getting the upper hand, starting to feel a calm rising, when suddenly a single solitary thought would fire off like a gunshot in the night. Split-seconds later an all out brawl would ensue. Back to my breath, back to my breath. I've heard it said the breath is what connects the physical to the non-physical. Whatever the case may be, tonight my mind was not going to allow me to make that connection. As any comfort would begin to timidly approach, my thoughts would dash my efforts and before I knew it I was lost in a psychedelic trip through days of old, unable to distinguish between reality or fiction. As the next ninety minutes unfolded I felt like a boxer in a championship fight with his arms tied behind his back, taking hit after hit. After the mental massacre, rolling up my mat and taking a hot, much needed shower I gathered my things and left the studio tired and wrecked. Walking home, the glowing lights of the LCBO caught my eye and I bought myself a bottle of white wine and continued home. Sitting here now by the fire, halfway into this bottle, I am reluctant to follow through with my plans for an early-morning yoga class. It's my day off after all. Can't I just sleep in?...

Style: Power Vinyasa
Teacher: Ichih Wang
Studio: Rama Lotus


"You have evolved since your first sun salutation."
Waking up early for work, I soon became aware of the lingering effects of last nights Yin class. My body had completely re-calibrated. My intention was to take another Yin class today, but after scheduling malfunctions and commitments to the "real world" I missed the class. Luckily, later in the evening there was an amazing alternative. Power Vinyasa, taught by Ichih. Her specific style of yoga was designed by Baron Baptiste. To be honest, I haven't researched the style beyond Ichih, who is an incredible teacher. What makes her so amazing to me is the way she communicates with the class. She is incredibly inspirational, acting as a gentle but powerful guide through one of the most physically challenging sequences of yoga I've ever tried.

"Your whole life is your yoga mat." As I moved through the flow-styled movements, all linked to individual breaths, Ichihs words drifted through my consciousness. "The way you face one situation on your mat is the way you face every situation in your life." She calmly repeated again and again, that when things get intense and seemingly unbearable, you have a choice. As I transitioned into the deadly pigeon pose, her words began to take on new meaning. The inner demons that the deep Yin poses had begun to unearth appeared at the gates of my mind once more. Snarling, rabid swirls of panicked thoughts engulfed me, sending me spiraling frantically through abstract visions of frustration and fear. "Hips are a warehouse of anger. When you experience things that make you mad, you file away and suppress the energy." Trembling, my breath caught mid-way in my throat, I faced the invading ghosts of forgotten memories erupting from somewhere deep in my subconscious. "Breathe. Breathe. Always remember to breathe. Breath is prana. No prana, no life. No prana, no yoga."

So is it true? Is this me versus my life? When the shit goes down, when the real challenges make their mark, I fall apart and crumble? Underneath layers of exterior persona's I've cultivated to interact with the outside world, is there really all this anger and frustration and violence and pain? Is this how everyone feels? Is this the human condition? Do people constantly keep moving to avoid their own culminating madness? Where is this leading?

As the tidal wave crashed over me I held on with clenched teeth, refusing to lose control of my entire existence here tonight twisted on the floor of this yoga studio. Whenever a pose gets to the threshold of unbearability, I tend to catch my breath in my throat. I inhale deeply, but as I exhale I lock up and choke, maybe afraid to let go completely, to surrender to the sensation. Noticing this I fully empty my lungs, and moments later I am filled with prana life force breath energy or whatever it is, and my pounding heartbeat eases its assult and the battlefield drifts into sparse echoes. Moments later we transition into new territory, and the class continues through the sequence. The mysterious energetic beasts that seem to reside deep within have subsided for the moment. As the evening comes to an end and we enter final savasana, my exhausted consciousness flickers out and evaporates softly into infinity with Ichihs last words trailing close behind...

"Did you discover yourself today?"