Day 23

Style: Hot
Teacher: Louise Sattler
Studio: Rama Lotus

The laziest robot in zone 1. Today, everthing is neutral. I feel like I'm litterally walking Buddha's middle path. I've been floating scene-by-scene through the motion picture of my life completely removed. Sound seems to be coming from far away, lost in the distance. I'm watching the world from underwater, unaffectedly content with the unfolding of time. One page to the next, reactionless...

Another Hot class late in the evening just goes to show how much freedom the instructors have with the style. Two nights,
same-time-same-style-same-teacher, each class completely unique unto itself. Tonight Louise switched up the sequence, orchestrating a rigorous choreography, and that cybernetic indifference never left me. I flexed and folded in and out of the postures, experiencing the physical sensations like they were happening to someone else. Like my own ghost, hovering slightly above myself, aware and watching.

Staring into the soft glow of my laptop screen, it stares back at me with the same blank expression. Am I relaxed, or am I just drained? I have no words at my command, no vocabulary at my disposal. All grasp on language and ability to form sentences seeped out my pores and into my towel in the hot room. I'm stiff, worn out. Words will come. The craving for pure, comforting, refreshing silence is my only focus. I surrender.


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